A Heart-to-Heart (with Myself)

I had a little heart-to-heart with myself this week.

People like to talk about motivation. How to find it, how to keep it, what to do when you're lacking it. Everyone is looking for the secret to having more motivation. Motivation is seen as the key to success.

But what about those of us who have the opposite problem?

I will say over and over again that I am my own worst critic. I put a ton of pressure on myself, and to this day I do not know where it comes from. In general, I don't struggle with motivation. Yes, I sometimes have trouble getting out of bed. Having motivation definitely does NOT mean that everything is suddenly always easy. But even when it feels impossible, I ultimately get it done.

My problem is with taking a step back. With taking days off. With taking CONSECUTIVE days off. 6 days a week, 50+ km per week, or else.

...Or else what?

I had this heart-to-heart with myself in a way that I would with any friend who came to me for advice. Yes, the act of DOING is important. But sometimes the NOT DOING is even more important. Recovery is not just a physical thing, but also a mental thing. It doesn't always look or feel the same from day to day. Maybe your body is feeling fabulous, but your brain is telling you to slow down. Or maybe you are feeling drained despite taking your program-prescribed day off. In this hustle culture we live in, it can be confusing to navigate the difference between lack of motivation and the simple necessity of some time off. And it truly is a necessity.

The point is here that I need to be more kind to myself. We all need to be more kind to ourselves. Value is not defined by these quantifiable measures - how many runs we do, how fast, how far. We need to focus more on how we feel and how to react to that. Even if it may be a little different than we’re used to.

I took the extra day off, and guess what? Nothing bad happened.