If Father’s Day is Difficult, Know That You Are Not Alone

Some years I would see my dad on Father’s Day. We would have brunch and it felt like we were a normal family.

Some years I would call. I would feel anxious as I picked up my phone to dial, wondering if he would answer. Wondering what we would talk about.

Some years I would send a card.

Some years I wouldn’t do any of those things.

Relationships are tricky, especially relationships with parents. As we grow up, they have a job to do every single day: to love and protect their children. For some, it comes easily. For others, it’s hard. They are human, and they are flawed.

This bike was my dad’s bike. He found an escape with his bike, riding through Europe on different occasions. He promised my sisters and I that he would take each of us on a bike trip one day. He didn’t.

Many are celebrating today, praising their fathers for being the BEST EVER. But it’s not an easy day for everyone.

Maybe your dad passed away years ago, like mine, and you still struggle to understand your relationship.
Maybe it’s your first year without him.
Maybe he was never really there for you and to celebrate feels fake.
Maybe your relationship with your father didn’t have you feeling loved or protected or safe.
Maybe you fear this year could be one of the last and all you want to do is give your dad a big hug.

Maybe you are a father yourself and any of these things ring true for you, too.

I want to honor this Father’s Day for anyone who is feeling pain, loneliness, sadness as they scroll through their feeds. This day means something very different to many of us.