You Shouldn't Feel Guilty About Holiday Eating
This is a difficult but necessary conversation: I want to talk about food guilt around the Holidays.
It is Thanksgiving in the United States this weekend, and Christmas is just one month away (!!). This is the time of year when many people begin to feel stressed about food. Everywhere I turn – from social media to conversations with my coworkers or friends – people are talking about their strategies surrounding food at the holidays. Emphasis is put on how to eat “correctly”: how to avoid overeating, how to eat the healthiest foods, how to eat the cleanest foods. There are discussions on “saving” calories for big meals. It makes my stomach turn.
Through my adult life, I have struggled with my relationship with food. I do not talk about this in great detail, but it has been a rocky path and I have had to re-learn some very basic lessons surrounding food. I am grateful that I have had the chance to mend this relationship so that I can eat the foods that I enjoy without feeling guilty about it. And I want everyone to have this opportunity.
There are 3 things that I want to hone in on, specifically surrounding the Holidays.
Perspective
First, try not to stress too much. Put the Holidays into perspective compared to the rest of your year. If it is one meal, or one weekend, or even if it is a full week where you are eating outside your usual habits. Keep in mind that this is not your routine the other 51 weeks of the year. Give yourself a break and enjoy yourself. Eating something branded as “unhealthy” or eating beyond fullness is not going to break whatever goals you have. (and I will spare you the lecture on how your worth has nothing to do with your size.)
What works best for me is to not have any strict rules about what I eat. We are taught that we should only eat when hungry, but the reality is that there is also an emotional connection surrounding food. Food is fuel, but food is also comfort. A piece of apple pie makes me feel happy, and I feel there is a value in that which people do not always recognize.
Ignore Others
The second thing is to ignore what other people may be saying or thinking. I understand that there are some difficult dynamics in many families/friendships where others may judge you based on how much or how little you decide to eat. You can feel the glares as you pass on seconds at dinner, or take a third helping at dessert. What is important to remember is that these are not your issues. If someone chooses to comment on what you are or are not eating, this has nothing to do with you. This person is projecting their own insecurities on to you; nothing more.
I understand it can be difficult to let those comments bounce off of you, but the sooner you can recognize that these comments really have nothing to do with you the sooner you can live your life more freely. It is your choice to do what feels right for you, and if someone else is going to pass judgment on you for that that is not your problem.
Don’t Judge
On a related note, the third thing is to not judge others for what they are eating. Do not even look at other people’s plates. It is not your business what choices another person is making. If you decide to comment on what another person is eating, guess what? You are projecting your own insecurities onto them and it is not going to help anyone.
I know this is not an easy topic for people to talk about, or even necessarily to think about. If you are feeling stressed about food going into the holidays, I hope that this helped to bring some perspective.
We need to learn how to live our lives without any looming guilt, be it from our family members or from ourselves. We need to learn to enjoy ourselves, to make our choices, and to not look back.
